What else might be helpful right now? Are you willing to explore another option? What else could I try? Perhaps write something on the back of the sign that she suggests writing it's not here on, with alternate ideas?

This Spangle advice leads me to one of Geneen Roth's tenets. "There is always an exquiste life affirming reason when one turns to food when they are not hungry." I appreciate it if by some offering of grace I can remember to ask myself at the time... what are you feeling sweetie? What's going on? What do you want? What's underneath that? And see if by some offering of grace I can care for myself and my underlying need with a more healthy choice.

As, yes, spangle, it's not here here...

And then there's the story... illustrating the oberservational bias knicknamed the street light effect...

A policeman sees a drunk man searching for something under a streetlight and asks what the drunk has lost. He says he lost his keys and they both look under the streetlight together. After a few minutes the policeman asks if he is sure he lost them here, and the drunk replies, no, and that he lost them in the park. The policeman asks why he is searching here, and the drunk replies, "this is where the light is."

What am I looking for this time?